I think we all have different sayings that we have learned that just kind of stick with us. Whether it be a motivational quote from a coach, a certain reminder from a parent, or a tip from a teacher, people say a lot of things that can stick with us. The voices that remain in our memories can influence different ways we act. They can push us to always follow through or remind us of the importance of always filling up the gas tank before a trip. I have been thinking a lot lately about the different sayings that pop up in my mind at various moments. Currently, the voices that seem to be the loudest are from my various college professors. As I start leading more and more sessions I find myself trying to remember the little bits of wisdom they imparted to me throughout classes. Some of the quotes are questions that the class would always get asked to cause everyone to really think through various interventions. Some of the questions I keep hearing in the back of my mind include: What is the purpose of the music? What goal are you trying to achieve here? And one my favorites, Why did you give that client an egg shaker? (It better not be just to keep them busy during the song.) These questions and many more prompt me to consider the purpose behind what I do in sessions, how I am using music, and how I am encouraging the client to engage. I am grateful that I had professors who wanted to challenge their students to craft experiences that allowed opportunities for meaningful music making. These questions helped me learn a lot and still push me while I move forward in my internship.
Out of all of the quotes and questions that come to mind one that sticks out is, “grace and space”. I had a professor who always reminded us to give ourselves grace when sharing different things in class that may not have gone well in a session and also she wanted us to give ourselves the space to process and reflect. Having this reminder during school was very helpful, especially for a perfectionist like myself. It can be very challenging to be kind to yourself when all you want to do is make sure everything you present is absolutely perfect. The reality is, we are humans and humans make mistakes. That is okay. The world will not crumble if I fumble a chord progression. As I make the transition from student to intern I am realizing that, although I gained a lot of knowledge in class, I still have a whole lot more learning to do. I am working on not getting frustrated with myself when there are moments I feel like I have no idea what I am doing, because that is what I am here for, to learn and grow. So, I am trying my best to have this quote at the forefront of my mind. When I tend towards getting down on myself I need to give myself the grace to know I have time to improve and give myself the space to figure out what steps I can take to continue growing. I am also discovering that when the professors are not around me all the time to say these same quotes and ask the challenging questions, I have to make sure to be my own reminder. I have to find my own voice, my own reminders to help push myself. The small reminder I have been trying to repeat is to celebrate the small victories. Sometimes there are skills that nobody else knows were extremely challenging to work on, so they may not be able to pat me on the back when I show growth in that skill area. Therefore, I remind myself to celebrate the victories myself, no matter how small. Just the other day I took a moment to celebrate the fact that I finally sang loud enough in a session so the client didn’t have to strain to hear me. That may seem insignificant to someone else, but to me it is a big deal. It can be really easy to get bogged down in all of the ways I want to do better as a music therapist. That is why celebrating even the smallest moments of success is important because it is a reminder that I am working hard and I am improving. Slowly but surely.
It is great to have motivating quotes from people I have looked up to, but I am learning that it is also important to be my own voice of encouragement during this time. So I will continue striving to celebrate every small victory that comes my way!
