Welcome back for Septembers blog! With the current state of the world, it is incredibly easy to feel overwhelmed. In this blog, I will share some of my favorite check-in experiences that you and your kiddos can do at home! A lot of these tools can be adapted to fit the current needs you are seeking.
What is in My Control and What is Not in My Control
I feel this is very important to talk about. A lot solutions to our negative thoughts can seem like no-brainers but having a reminder can help you focus on the necessary steps to feeling productive. When it comes to feeling overwhelmed, I feel it is important to check-in with yourself to truly see what is in and out of your control. You can do this by creating lists. These lists can be on the back of a grocery store receipt or a chalkboard—whatever you have handy.
Things that are:
In my control… | Out of my control… |
The way I treat strangers and friends | The price of items I need |
Whether or not I complete a project on time | If someone says something mean about me |
How clean I keep my home | Whether or not someone is kind to me |
The way I treat those who are unkind to me | Whether or not someone else wears a mask |
What I wear to work, the store, an outing, etc. | The way others drive on the road |
If I wear a mask to a public space | Due dates for assignments |
What I post and read on social media | What others post on social media |
These lists always help me focus on what is important, and in the grand scheme of things, the important things are always the things you have control of. Pointing out these things you can control helps realign your thoughts and can give you a strong sense of control—which is something we seem to always feel like we don’t have. Be intentional with these lists and keep your eyes on the things important to you.
Some Help! With Emotions
Something I liked to do is sing about my emotions, and I find that this can be a great way to help clients process their emotions, as well. Singing and playing instruments is a great release and sometimes, it can even tell you something about yourself that you didn’t even know! If you find yourself tensing up while playing or singing, check in with yourself. Release your shoulders, unclench your jaw, take three deep breaths and let it out. A song that I found to be particularly beneficial is the Beatles’ song, “Help!” The lyrics already express needing help and someone to talk to, which is something that we could all benefit from. Here is an empty songwriting template to “Help!” that you can use when you want a means of expressing your emotions and needs:
[Intro]
“Help! I need ______ (something that you need: rest, energy, positivity, etc.)
Help! Not just any ______ (something you may need, but broad: rest, energy, positivity, etc.)
Help! You know I need,
______ (something specific: an hour nap, to see friends, good news, etc.)
[Verse]
I am feeling ______, oh so _______ today (current emotion/feeling: sad, exhausted, angry, etc.)
I never needed _______ any more than I do today (something you need: see intro)
But I know it’s okay to feel like I do today,
Because I know it won’t always be this way.
[Chorus]
I need some help ‘cause I’m feeling ______ (current emotion/feeling: sad, exhausted, angry, etc.),
And I know this feeling won’t always be around.
I need some help to get my feet back on the ground,
Oh I need, please, ______ (something you need: a hug, coffee, nap, etc.)”
I had a lot of fun rewriting this song, and I found myself feeling productive. I personally sang about being exhausted and needing coffee. When I am feeling like I’m in a funk, being productive can usually help turn that feeling around. Being productive can look like so many different things to different people; for example, making the bed, cleaning your kitchen, brushing your teeth, writing a song, finishing a late homework assignment, coloring a picture, and the list continues. The best part about song writing is that you have full customization of it, meaning you can make it serious or light-hearted—whatever you are needing in that moment.
When I Feel ____….
This experience would be great to do with kids. Start by brainstorm with your kids about different emotions they experience, for example: angry, sad, happy, silly, confused, nervous, disgusted, anxious, scared, proud, calm, etc. Once you have created a list of emotions, you can turn this into a little game. An app that the music therapists and I use at the clinic is Decide Now! It’s essentially a decision wheel, but for the purposes of this experience, we will type in all the emotions you created a list for.
Keep a running list, I’ll provide an example here:
When I feel ____, I might ____…
Angry | Turn red in the cheeks, fidget, stomp my feet |
Sad | Cry, hide, scream |
Happy | Smile, laugh, have a lot of energy, give a hug |
Calm | Sit quietly, read a book, watch cartoons |
Confused | Avoid homework, ask a lot of questions, be silent |
Nervous | Get shakes, cry, get a stomachache |
Scared | Cry, ask for a grown-up, hide |
Excited | Jump around, laugh, smile, giggle |
Once you have your wheel completed, you can let your child spin the wheel. When the pointer lands on an emotion, ask your child (or yourself) what makes them (or you) feel this way.
“What makes you feel _____?” A response may look like this: “Taking tests at school makes me anxious.”
Then, ask a follow up question:
“When you feel _____, you might _____.” For example, “When I am anxious, I might get the chills, cold, and have an upset stomach.”
A final question:
“When you feel _____, how can you help yourself feel better?” For example, “When I feel anxious, I can help myself feel better by studying hard before the test, remind myself that I am smart, and get plenty of rest the night before.”
By using this sequence of questions, you can help yourself or child by 1. identifying a feeling, 2. expressing how these feelings might exhibit, and 3. creating a toolbox of coping mechanisms that you can access at any point and time. To go one step deeper, you can work together (or alone) to create a playlist of songs that can aid in the process of feeling better.
(P)interesting Ideas
I am an avid Pinterest user. I am checking it constantly for ideas and building my boards, pin by pin. I have several boards, but one I cherish the most is my self-care board. I will have it linked for you to check out. Pinterest is filled with ideas and concepts to adapt to fit your needs. They have great self-care ideas for people of all ages—especially children. Because Pinterest is based on pictures, there are hundreds of appealing graphics for children to look at and understand. Another thing I love about Pinterest is that if you click on a pin, it will typically take you to the creator’s website, which gives you access to even more information!
Olivia Wendel’s Pinterest: https://pin.it/4IirjIq
I wish you all the best this month and I look forward to next months’ blog!
Olivia Wendel, Music Therapy Intern
References
Sophia, Tom, Alibaba, John, Sophie, ESLGeek, . . . Hirth, M. (2019, September 19). Useful Words and Phrases to Describe How You Feel in English. Retrieved September 28, 2020, from https://www.eslbuzz.com/useful-words-and-phrases-to-describe-how-you-feel-in-english/
Soulié, H. (2020, February 13). Self-Care Battery: Recharge Yours! Retrieved September 28, 2020, from https://www.blessingmanifesting.com/2019/01/self-care-battery-recharge-yours.html
Great post Olivia!